She's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Our Very Own Mary Poppins

  She's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Having a welcome home lunch with "tete Primrose"

Having been at work now for nearly a month, I am happy to report that by the grace of God, all is well and baby and mommy are thriving nicely. I am destraught however, to have been unforgivably absent in blog-land, and humbly beg your understanding. 

Today's blog inspiration is brought on by an extreme appreciation for the angel who takes care of my baby when I'm away, taking care of others. Our nanny has been living with us since I was 8 months pregnant, and after a 1 month long nanny training course, is (almost) better equipped than I am at looking after my baby. 

Primrose is a 27yr old Zimbabwean, and a divorced mother of 2. From her very first day, she easily integrated into our family and her loving, friendly, sunny disposition won me over in an instant. Whenever I came home with little outfits for our baby-to-be or yet another decoration for baby's nursery, she would react with the same excitement I had, buying them, and she and I would spend hours on the then empty nursery room floor, dreaming up how we would arrange the furniture. On the day I went into labour, Primrose had tears in her eyes while she plaited my hair through the contractions, and the same teary eyed face was eagerly waiting at the door when we brought our little angel home. 

 

Much to her delight, we enrolled her in the Sugar & Spice nanny training school when baby was about 2 months old. I took her to classes once a week and collected her again about 4 hours later. The course is designed around 4 Modules aimed at safety, hygiene, health, nutrition and educational play, and after each module she was given a list of things to practice or things to change in the house. I will never forget Primrose walking around my house on her knees, moving every movable object she could reach... "because its danger mam". We also practiced CPR on the teddybears together and when I completed my baby massage course, we practiced massaging the dolls together.

Prim and I taking time out while baby naps

Primrose was by my side as I googled my way through every difficult motherhood moment and brought me breakfast in bed when she thought I wasn't eating enough. She fetched baby from me first thing in the morning so I could get some sleep after a difficult night and made my guests tea when they came to visit. Without question Primrose became my 'right hand woman', and when she had to go home for a week to see her sick son, I cried a little everyday. Not only for my 'right hand', but also the friend who had seen me through motherhood from day one. Needless to say, the day she arrived on the train station, baby and I were waiting eagerly, one of us at least with a teary eyed face...

Back at work, everyone asks "who's looking after baby??" with a "I'm so sorry, it must be terrible for you" look in their eyes, but I honestly feel completely at ease knowing that her nanny is taking care of her. You see, having been through it all together, Primrose not only knows her routine back to front, but also knows why its important that we follow it. She knows how to prepare a sterile bottle and even knows what may happen if it became contaminated, and with what she's learned at nanny training, baby's play times are always educational and stimulating.

Obviously there are cons to employing a nanny, and I can see why a family would be hesitant. The obvious downside is leaving your baby in the care of a stranger who you know nothing about. Its also a huge expense and the better the nanny, the more expensive they tend to be. I recommend getting someone to work for you well before baby's born, or at least before you're ready to go back to work, so that you can get to know them yourself. There is after all no better yardstick than a mother's instinct. References are of course always useful, and going to a nanny agency directly ensures trained nannies with CV's and references, though they are definitely more expensive. Finding the right person and then sending her for training yourself may seem costly, but you do end up paying less per month, and its such a pleasure being part of that learning experience, never mind the fact that you will inevitably learn something useful yourself. One other thing to consider is that most nannies have children of their own, and taking care of your little one will likely mean time away from her own. I always make Primrose feel at home and like she's part of the family, we cook together, work together, rest together and play together, and as I trust her with my child's life, I am sure that she would trust me with her's. More than anything I can see that she is genuinely interested in baby's wellbeing and happiness, and I thank God for her everyday.

Good qualities to look out for when choosing a nanny

This may be a little like judging a book by its cover, but their are some human qualities which one can discern in an interview. 

• I believe that it is important that a nanny is always someone who cares for children, likes being around children, and even has a playful childlike nature themselves. You want you baby to love the person looking after her, and wouldn't it be nice if her caregiver loved her too?

• Its also really lovely if your nanny is someone you like. She will after all become one of your family. Be sure that you can be around her all day, and that she has a generally friendly disposition... You can't choose family after all, but you can choose your nanny! Try to choose someone with good values, morals, and who's polite and respectful. Your baby will learn from the people she watches.

• Try to discern if your potential nanny is a good listener and if she can follow instructions. Most of her job will consist of following your instructions after all. You won't be able to tell if she agrees with your every child raising idea, but her job is to follow your cue and take instruction from you without trying to enforce her own beliefs. I think its healthy to have someone who is intelligent enough to understand your reasons for doing what you do and who can engage in gentle debate if she feels she may know better. Primrose raised 2 children on her own, and she has a wealth of information that I couldn't read in a year's worth of Preggy mags.

• Communication is vital in the growing years, and while its great to have someone who can teach your baby a second language, it is more important that your nanny speaks your home language fluently. Baby will learn so much of her speech pattern from the person she spends most time with and you need to know that any instructions you give are understood first time round.

• Intelligence is difficult to read in another person, but do try and assess the applicant's level of common sense. So much of parenting revolves around common sense, and you won't be there to make a decision of every unforeseen scenario.

• At your very first meeting you can tell if your nanny is well groomed, and weather she has healthy hygiene habits. Other than this directly affecting the cleanliness of your baby's environment, she will also likely teach her own habits to your child.

There are obviously countless other qualities you would look out for in the interview and during your reference and background check, I only listed things you should make a note to check for when meeting her. And please don't neglect background checks, sometimes even a mother's instinct can be misled.

“No act of kindness is too small. The gift of kindness may start as a small ripple that over time can turn into a tidal wave affecting the lives of many.”

Kevin Heath